Below is a recent exchange I had with a follower after posting a tweet on breastfeeding during the beginning newborn stages.
This is going to be helpful for current parents and aspiring ones because it’ll include as comprehensive of a breakdown I can offer on all the things we’ve learned as a couple to maximize health for mother and baby.
I’ll try to get everything in here as possible, so strap in and make use of this information because it comes from a holistic perspective with the help of one of the best midwives in the United States.
Prenatal Care
The first and most important thing for you to understand is that the mother’s lifestyle well-before she gets pregnant is crucial.
Prenatal care in our mind includes one year prior where you don’t plan on having a child and the year beginning from when you first get confirmation of the pregnancy.
This applies to many of the subjects I’ve discussed in the past:
Light environment (Aligning yourself with circadian biology)
Sleep
Nutrition (Animal based)
Hydration
Movement & Training
Supplementation
Detoxification
A deep dive on my Substack will show clear action steps in regards to these subjects.
As soon as we found out about the pregnancy, we hired our midwife couple (Lisa & Richard Oxenham) and were given clear directions on what the most important prenatal supplements are:
Beef liver pills (We use the brand Trace Minerals)
Strict avoidance of folic acid (especially for those with an MTHFR gene mutation)
Methylated B-complex to avoid renal tube defects (From Cymbiotika)
Trace mineral drops to add into spring water (From the brand Concentrace)
Adequate protein consumption
This is what helped us achieve a great outcome for our birth.
All of these options are important to have as a part of your routine, but the beef liver and methylated B-complex carry an incredible amount of benefit by supporting the development of the child, health of the placenta, delivery, so forth.
We also used Cymbiotika’s Heart Health formula, Vitamin C, and Creatine+.
In addition to everything above, seriously consider the cleanliness of the home in regards to toxicity. We’ve gotten many non-toxic options for our newborn.
100% cotton clothing
Non-toxic water wipes (non-scented)
Glass bottles for storage of breast milk
Non-toxic pacifiers for moderate use
Proper sterilization of anything baby uses in the mouth
Avoiding toxic shampoos and lotions for beef tallow and coconut oil
BPA free (100% silicone) toys and pacifiers
The list goes on.
Do your research and prioritize the quality of the things you use around the development of your newborn.
Hiring A Midwife & Doula
We got a bit lucky because my fiance’s aunt is our midwife and she happens to be one of the best out there with this work.
You want to search for somebody who takes a holistic approach. They must have an understanding of the psychological, spiritual, emotional, medical components.
Most importantly, they must have a lot of birthing experience under their belt.
Here’s a description of Lisa’s journey, approach, and qualifications to give you a clear picture of what you want to look for.
Lisa has the following qualifications:
She’s a Licensed Midwife through the Medical Board of California and a Certified Professional Midwife. She attended the National College of Midwifery where she’s also a Preceptor. She’s skilled in many other domains since she’s attended 650+ births such as spinning babies. She uses outside lab providers and ultrasound services and has many connections, but that’s certainly not the end of it.
Richard Oxenham, Lisa’s husband, is also an integral part of the team and has many qualifications. He’s attended 300+ births and focuses on many of the logistics involved with the birth.
On a deeper level, I appreciated having an experienced man there throughout the prenatal, labor/delivery, and postpartum process. I feel like it’s important for the man of the child to have that opportunity.
In regards to a Doula, here’s an explanation of what a doula is. Their role is to be a good advocate and supporter for the woman during birth. My experience has taught me that they’re absolutely necessary because they know the ins and outs of what a mother needs for a safe environment during a home birth.
Here’s where you can find a Doula.
Labor & Birth
This part of the experience is the most emotionally demanding because it’s the biggest moment of your life, yet that’s exactly where it offers the most potential for transformation.
As you can see below, our home birth setup was pretty simple.
We used an inflatable Oasis birthing pool and I made sure to go out of my way to get a Clean Water Fun filter to remove all of the toxic compounds found in municipal tap water.
The water is kept at a specific temperature to offer the mother and baby comfort (between 97-100 F).
During our recent home birth experience, we spent about 7-8 hours at home with about 3 hours spent inside the birthing tub. Our doula arrived at a 4:30 AM to support us through the process and did a wonderful job with essential oils, massages for the mother, candles, so forth.
My fiance was about 5 cm dilated, but it was clear that the pain was becoming too intense due to other reasons (an infection that will come into play later). She wasn’t progressing into labor as she should have.
Fast forward to when our midwife couple arrived, and it was certain that she was going to need a transport to a local hospital after our midwife did some physical tests to determine what was going on.
Lisa has a powerful intuition when it comes to birthing.
When she senses that something is wrong, you listen to her.
That’s exactly what my fiance and I did, especially considering that she was in so much pain it was almost unbearable for her.
We successfully transported to the hospital and went through the horrendously slow process of checking in, all the while, my fiance hasn’t gotten her epidural in about 2 hours AFTER being checked into the hospital.
The main concern from our midwife was a potential infection because her water broke prior to labor starting. If this happens, the risk of infection rises.
Sure enough, after the nurses tested her temperature, the babies heart rate progression, and a few other metrics - it was clear that she did in fact have an infection.
This is a scary position to be in because sepsis was on the radar.
Sepsis is nothing to mess around with and can be fatal, especially for a pregnant mother. The solution was to get a steady course of antibiotics and perform a C-section rather than a vaginal delivery since it wasn’t possible.
On Hospitals & Birth
Now, I do have to mention that when you enter a hospital for a birth and you believe in a more holistic approach, you’re entering the lion’s den.
I believe 99% of doctors and nurses have great intentions, yet the path to hell is paved with those kind of intentions. The quality of care you receive depends largely on the staff that you have with you.
My fiance and I were uncomfortable with our first doctor and a few other nurses because of the way they approach the situation. Instead of explaining everything comprehensively, they immediately jumped to saying we needed a C-section.
I needed to stand my ground against their rush/fear tactics.
That’s arguably the most important piece of advice I could give you in a hospital setting, especially for the men. Be respectful, but stand your ground for a healthy mother/baby outcome. Know exactly what you want, but have the ability to adapt and change your mind when it’s a matter of life or death.
My midwife, doula, fiance, and I strategized around what we could do to make my fiance more comfortable since she was feeling rushed into making a decision.
Waiting for the nurse and doctor shift change was the best option and that turned out to make all the difference in the world.
Our new doctor was incredible.
He sat us down and explained everything, but was also warm and inviting.
Because of his excellent work, we felt empowered to make a well-informed decision which was to get a C-section as soon as possible. Big shoutout to him.
We wanted a vaginal birth, but it wasn’t in the cards due to the risk involved, so we shifted our mindset and happily made the decision. This is crucial to understand if you want to have a child.
Centralized medicine can do great things to heal acute conditions and illnesses, but it misses the ball with birth.
Thankfully, we benefited from one of centralized medicine’s strengths through a cesarean section. Baby Enzo came out in 2 minutes. The operation finished in 20.
We spent three days in the hospital to make sure sepsis was no longer a problem and made it out safely. The hospital food and artificially blue lit environment is another discussion, yet it’s a better alternative than serious injury to my woman and child.
Postpartum Care
We’ve had a wonderful time raising Enzo and the level at which his birth has opened my heart with love is indescribable.
The greatest piece of advice I can give to you is to spend time with your little one as much as you can because time passes by quickly. Before you know it, you’ll long for more time and experience in the newborn phase in addition to other times.
So far, we’ve had one check in with our midwife where we’ve learned a lot about:
Breastfeeding
How to properly latch
Jaundice (Adequate sunlight for newborn and mother)
Figuring out blood type
Accurate weight and measurements
The importance of skin to skin contact with both mother and father
Building proper alignment of the circadian rhythm for newborns
Assessing baby’s stool and making sure it’s progressing properly
The importance of consistent feeding every 2-3 hours
We just recently finished getting our son’s lip tie fixed because that can become an issue going forward for breastfeeding. Our midwife recommended this to us during our first postpartum appointment.
Going forward, I’m sure I’ll share more of what we’ve learned, yet this is a good starting place for expecting parents or even parents who already have a child.
Much love,
Zaid